The joy of giving (back)
Like most people, I have a complicated relationship with gifting. I love gifts - who doesn’t? And I also love giving them. There is no better feeling than finding that perfect present for somebody you love. That feeling of being able to bring joy to somebody through something physical, is (unfortunately) one of life’s great gifts to us.
I say ‘unfortunately’ because I am also ridiculously conscious that we live in a world in which ‘stuff’ will ultimately be our downfall. I recently heard a stat which made my stomach drop - that one garbage truck of plastic is discarded into our oceans every minute. Just take a minute to think about that. Do we really need to be buying more? Do we need to create joy through more stuff?
Having kids brings another layer of complexity and guilt. They seem to be plastic-magnets. And their birthdays, whilst only once a year, result a level of waste which makes me not only feel like a negligent mum, but a bad human being. There’s the disposable party waste (balloons, cups, decorations, plates, pass-the-parcel presents), the party bag headache, plus the mound of presents sitting on the table (covered in a plastic tablecloth).
Each year I think I have gotten progressively better… I have a stash of party crockery and decorations which I re-use, and I foresake the traditional party bags for books (still not completely virtuous). But the stack of presents is one which I still battle with. We could ask for money or a voucher, or even just say ‘no gifts’, but where’s the joy in that?
I am not against all presents - see my earlier comment about how much I love them. And I know that little kids deserve a treat on their birthday. The problem is that I am all too aware of the reality of many of those presents. I have been the mum that forgets about the party at the weekend, who dashes out on the morning of the celebration and buys something thoughtless. I have been the mum who has purchased a present for a child I know nothing about, something generic that they might already have. I have also been the mum who has regifted a thoughtless present that we have received, in an attempt to reduce even more waste.
None of these actions have been taken on purpose, because I am thoughtless and uncaring. More often than not I have made purchases or decisions because of the pressures of societal convention - you can not turn up to a party empty-handed. But there is no joy in these presents for me or for the person receiving them. Wrappings are ripped and after a brief hit of serotonin the kid throws the gift on a heap and probably forgets about it. The expectation is that birthdays are about loads of presents and stuff, and every year living up to that becomes a source of stress. And let’s be honest, who wants a spoilt kid, right? It sounds harsh, but I fear it is all too true.
This is the problem that GenKind hopes to solve. It’s not about replacing the thoughtful and personal gifts that are given by close friends and family. It’s not about stealing joy or being uber worthy. Nobody wants to be that mum. It’s about replacing the plastic crap and social pressure surrounding birthday parties, with something which is genuinely joyful, and incredibly impactful.
By asking your guests to donate some money to a cause which your child cares about, one they have had the chance to engage with and learn about, you create a win-win-win situation.
Win 1: You help your child to be generous and caring, to engage with some of the bigger problems in the world, and empower them to feel like they can make a difference.
Win 2: You reduce your plastic party waste
Win 3: You relieve other parents of the societal pressure to buy more crap
There are other joyful benefits for the kids too. They are reminded that they did something super special together. They learn about a cause or an animal or another part of the world. They join a club which tells them they can make a difference, they can help. They are the generation for which kindness could replace stuff. For which joy won’t need to come from something physical.
GenKind is not about stealing joy or sacrificing presents, it’s about discovering a new way to create joy with people that you care about. It’s about truly appreciating the gifts that you do receive, not being spoilt by an overwhelming amount of them. And it’s about reducing plastic waste and helping out parents who are always trying to do their best 🙂
